I've never been one to worry! I've never worried about money, health, death, etc.. But now worry seems to be my middle name! I dream of the days when we have no worries, but I'm assuming everyone does that. If not the world would be perfect right?
Today, and yes just today tomorrow might be something new, I worry about Lynlee's development. I worry if she will ever really "want" to eat. If she will be normal all except for her diet, and meds?
We had Lynlee's physical therapy evaluations on Friday. It seems that she is about 2 months behind. I know some of you reading this is thinking what's 2 months. Part of me says the same thing that she was in the hospital on her back for 7 weeks.. That's almost 2 months. That could be the delay it's self. While most kids are getting snuggled and having tummy time we were in the hospital.. There is another part of me that still hates the word delayed. I know she is likely to have them, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to hear it. Of course, I want Lynlee to be the exception. One of the few children with UCD that does not have delays or brain damage, but don't all the mothers want that?
I try not to get worked up about it. I keep telling myself that things could be worse (and they could!!) and that God has got us this far, and we aren't giving up now.
Last week in the hospital we shared a room with the smartest little girl I've ever seen! She was crawling out her crib, walking, eating waffles and mac & cheese, talking (says words like mama,dada, stop, up,down.) She was every therapist dream. I honestly thought she was 2 years old. She was 10 months! 10 months!! Wow!
And the saddest part: Her mother did not even appreciate her advanced child! I was angry about this for days. How could a mother not even care that her child could do all of this..
I was complaining to my mom about her when she said "Stacy, she didn't have to!" And she was right. This mom never had to worry if her child would hit her milestones, eat, walk, etc..
So for all of you that has never really had to worry about all of this, be grateful! And for all of the mothers that has went through this, I'm sorry!! It sucks!