There are so many things in life I don't know or understand! Some on purpose, some I won't allow myself, and of course there are just things that none of us know! Allow me to elaborate.
I don't know how to work a weed eater! I don't want to know, and honestly if I never touch one in my life I'll be okay. They kinda scare me, and I just don't think I should have to weed eat, that's one job that's all Ryans. Grilling- Another thing that intimidates me? I can cook, bake, do whatever but don't ask me to use a grill! Handyman work, fixing things, etc just not my thing..
I don't have the time or you would get bored if I listed all the things in life I don't understand so I'll hit on the main ones. Of course it's Lynlee. I'll never understand why she has her disorder, why God thinks I'm the one that can take care of her, or the one that is strong enough to handle it? Because there are some days I question him. I know it's wrong to do so, but I think he thinks I'm stronger than I am. Ryan had an accident yesterday. He wrecked his truck, we are pretty sure it's totaled but have to wait for the insurance adjuster to make that call. My first thought was are you okay?? Are you sure you're okay?? Then when he told me how bad the truck was I freaked out. We are SO close to getting it paid off and now this. We aren't exactly rolling in the money these days with me staying at home, and I don't know how we can swing another payment? But none of that matters, and it will work out. Or so I'm told! But I do know that the accident could have been so much worse. He could have flipped, been thrown out, etc, but God was watching over our family again!
They say God won't give you more than you can handle.. But I just wish he wouldn't trust us as much!
Then there are the things I won't allow myself to know.. Example- Water on The Brain. When they told me that Lynlee had excess water on the brain my first thought was I have to Google it. But I didn't. I didn't want to know the side effects, the procedures, etc. I knew deep down Lynlee was fine! I wasn't allowing myself to Google something then dwell on it! I'm glad I didn't since she just has a big head like her daddy :)
Another thing I don't know much about. Liver Transplants. I do know that I don't want to go down that road and I hope that's not in our plans. Savannah has accepted her new liver and she is going home today! She is almost 7 months old, been home only 2 1/2 weeks since birth and that transplant saved her life!
I learn new things everyday, and that's what makes life living for. I look forward to life and what the future holds (as long as it's not weed eating or grilling!)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Proverb 3:5-6